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Here’s one thing David Lee’s body CAN do

Published
by
David Lee
on December 1, 2007
in Domestic
. 9 Comments

It all started a few days ago…

I woke up in my bed to the smell of pancakes–no, wait…  just syrup.  It smells delicious; I’m going check it out I thought.  Wait, it’s a weekday and dad is at work–and he never makes breakfast on these days.  Ah yes! There must be some left over food fermenting in my room producing a sweet smelling alcohol.

Looking in every corner, smelling in every cranny, I could not find the source of the smell.  Though, fermenting food  is still not out of the question.  I decided to not worry about it and continue my day, albeit confounded by thoughts of the mysterious source.  It happen up until just now.  As I was (slowly) taking my shirt off, I caught a potent whiff of this syrup smell.  Ah, so I must have rubbed against some syrup some time ago–that’s the reason why I’ve been smelling syrup all this time.  After close inspection, it was concluded that syrup was not the source due to the lack of stickiness and one interesting clue.  Both armpit areas of the shirt smelled strongly of syrup–and only the armpit areas.  I quickly cupped my left hand in my right armpit and took a whiff of the most delicious body odor of all time.

Yes, my armpits pleasantly smell of syrup.  Maple syrup specifically, not the supermarket kind, the real stuff.  I have come up with a list for possible factors that cause this miracle:

  • Wednesday night dinner: ate many interesting foods.  The likely candidate was a combination of Indian potatoes with salmon eggs
  • My hair is longer than it has ever been–perhaps some fermentation has occurred  on my scalp and was transferred into my bloodstream and to my armpits
  • I have recently started practicing my guitar lately–perhaps the strings were contaminated with some Metal oxide that, when rubbed on the fingers enters the bloodstream and acts as a catalyst for organic acids to produce esters (really, really nice smelling compounds)
  • Stress of writing paper?  Nah, I don’t get stressed when writing papers.  I haven’t even started and I feel great.
  • My computer at work has been up for over a year now–perhaps the EM forces pulsing from under my desk went radioactive and mutated my genes.  In addition to the wonderful B.O., this could explain my lack of stress.
  • My sunglasses have been without a case since I was in San Diego–perhaps some residue has formed on the tip of the ear piece that transferred sweet smelling compounds into my bloodstream via the skin behind my ear.
  • I have been using the same towel for over a week now–perhaps the festering mold has triggered an unusual reaction in my skin to over produce pheromones (I question these so-called pheromones).
  • A dead and dried carnation was flung at me when the soda bottle it was resting in fell off the monitor behind me (true story)–perhaps the aged pollen was deposited on my upper arm and was blown into the hot damp of my armpit.  It could have festered and made habitat for bacteria that produce an overwhelming amount of sucrose.

That’s all I can figure for possible causes.  Hmm.

Week o’ travel

Published
by
David Lee
on December 1, 2007
in Uncategorized
. 0 Comments

It has been an interesting week (and a half) with all the traveling, events, and what-not. Here’s my recapitulation:

Journey One: San Diego - Tune Up

So I decided to go to San Diego the Saturday before last to check out the Tune Up–a concert lineup with local and Minnesotan bands. It sounded like fun, so I went searching for a ride down there (even though my trusty car would have done just fine). Originally, Christianne did not know if she was going, but at last minute she decided for it. Unfortunately, I was obliged to go to a funeral down in Newhall for… Bethel Murray? I didn’t even know who she was. Rather, I still don’t know who she is. We got on the road at around 2:30 PM (mostly due to funeral, partly due to free lunch), but hit traffic on interstate 5 all the way through North Los Angeles to Irvine or so. We arrived at the Reed’s at around 6:30 PM. The event was almost over, but at least we got to see the last two bands. Oh, and I was dressed as a Saudi.

Journey Two: Los Angeles - Los Angeles Auto Show

This was just last Friday when my friend Colin and I decided to go to the LA Auto show on opening day (his car… again, my trusty car would have done just fine). The drive down was good, though I was very hungry, having breakfast cut short in order to leave on time. I couldn’t take the starvation any longer, so I let Colin pull over in Las Virgenes to get a foot-long subway sandwich. We arrived at the convention center five minutes after the opening, which meant very long ticket lines and inexperienced/nervous show girls. I must say, the show girls are a lot more friendly before they realize how boring their job actually is. Like always, I had to check out every single exhibit, which is actually quite exhausting. At the Subaru exhibit, an overly friendly Subaru credit card offering girl stopped both Colin and I for about five minutes. She initially commented on his custom shirt (containing the logos of Ferrari, Porsche, BMW, Lotus, Lamborghini, all in the Aston Martin wings), and she continued to repeat, “you should really think about advertising”. She was too clingy.

We saw some pretty cool cars, such as the new Lexus F series–they had the IS-F on a dyno where anyone could get in line and test their acceleration skills. Unfortunately, it had a long line, and it sounded like it had some form on non-standard transmission (DSG or whatever they call it). Next came the exotic room… Lamborghini, as usual, had all their cars in flat black, and all their ridiculously blond girls in satin white. And yes, they had the Reventón. Porsche has always had the best exhibit–this time they had a 360 degree video room with the sounds of Porsche engines in full surround. They also let you sit in a few more models of cars, such as the Cayman, Boxster, Cayenne, and even 911. Oh yes, I want to get a 911.

Journey Three: Los Angeles - Clinton’s 60th Birthday

Just the next day, I had to go down to LA for uncle Clinton’s surprise birthday party. It was… quite Asian. We stopped by Marukai, picked up Grandma Lee, then to the Hawaiian restaurant. I think I only remember two other non-Asian people there. Well, the free food was good, I suppose. Though, Grandma’s repeating stories are getting worse. She kept telling the story of when Dad fell out of the window when he was a child about three times in one long sentence.

Journey Four: San Francisco - Thanksgiving

Leaving the next Wednesday, we (the parents and myself) went up to San Francisco for our annual anti-thanksgiving dinner.  We had a delicious Peking duck along with fried crab and many other delicious Asian foods.  Oh yes, the setting for this anti-thanksgiving is in China town.  Being a trip based on cuisine, we headed up to Berkeley to eat at the renowned Chez Panisse.  It is a quite fancy place, so I felt under dressed in my jeans and TMBG shirt.  Anyway, It was all good.  We made several trips to China town–and passed by this creepy apothecary that sold deer tail, sea horses, medicinal twigs, and various Chinese oddities.

I made it home safely–but now I must write a paper.

I resisted the best car salesman of the year… so far

Published
by
David Lee
on November 9, 2007
in Automotive
. 8 Comments

This whole “new car” business started last evening after I dropped off my neat BMW 320i at Miller’s to replace a leaking master cylinder. On the way home, I asked dad if we could stop by the Nissan dealership to take a look at their Sentra SE-R Spec Vs. Unfortunately they didn’t have any in stock, but the friendly salesman, Edward (why are they always named Edward?) wanted me to test drive their standard Sentra. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel like driving their automatic cars, so I had to take a pass on that, though it was very, very hard to break the conversation about the Intelligent Key and other various Nissan trademark features. Somehow I managed to get away, though the rudeness of it may be determined by Edward. I’m sure he loved me. Overall, the Nissans were fine. Nothing impressed me, especially not the FME/FWD (Front Mounted Engine/Front Wheel Drive).

Feeling into this “new car” business, Mom and I went to the Volkswagen dealership this morning to take a look at their Rabbit and GTI. We were greeted with a ditsy blond girl who, might I add, mentioned the fact that she only has her “temporary dealer license”. This meant that she could only try to sell the car. Without disclosing the price. It was quite annoying. That aside, she let me drive their used 2007 Rabbit around the mesa, freeway, and downtown. It was quite a fun little car. I was impressed by the build quality (nice doors, smooth gearbox, solid interior, etc…), but the power and torque lacked. Having an inexperienced dealer in the passenger seat, it was hard to inquire/verify any information about the Rabbit. I’m pretty sure I made a good impression on her first day at work–flooring it through tight S-Curve on-ramps (Castillo to 101-N), and smoky u-turns… Overall, I was satisfied with the build quality, interior features, but was dissatisfied with the understeering nature of the FME/FWD. The price and warranty were decent, being at a little over $16,500 (this information was given by the greasy-haired, crack-revealing manager) with room for negotiation. Unfortunately, I wasn’t given the opportunity to test out their similarly priced 2004 GTI, though the interior seemed to be of even better quality (leather, more features, etc…).

The next stop was the Honda dealership. I was interested in looking at the Civic Si (yet again, FME/FWD), but unfortunately they sold their last Civic Si last night. This is where I met Don, the half Vietnamese, half Black award winning salesman of the year. He introduced me to the 2007 Civic EX. Now, you must realize, I have no intentions of stooping to the level of a standard Civic. I even thought that an Si was pushing it. The test drive was a modest loop around a few blocks, nothing special–I didn’t really get a chance to test out the grip, revs, etc… We pulled up some numbers, played around with financing, insurance, and everything I could think of. The numbers were a bit high for a car that I wasn’t sure that I really liked. Don even let me drive it around for a few hours by myself to get me to like it. I must say, it was a tough decision, and I still kinda like the car, though I had the feeling that the engine was squirting fuel in with a pinprick, and the intake was managed by an asthmatic. It wasn’t impressive at all… and the cornering wasn’t impressive either, especially on corner exit (understeers like a moose on ice). That aside, I did have to take into consideration the “bullet proof i-VTEC motor”, 105,000 mile warranty, unsurpassed reliability, the fact that it was brand new, and all those boring things. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel like this could be a car that I like. It didn’t put a smile on my face when I took it up to 8,000 rpm, nor when I took it around corners, then nearly plowed into potentially oncoming traffic.

Saying “no” to the offer, which I managed to whittle all the way down to the price of their invoice + $11.83 was quite difficult. I worked out the numbers and was still on the high side for a car that I didn’t really see myself in. Nevertheless, I did say no, and I have no regrets. Maybe.

By this time, it was getting late. We started this car hunt at around 10:30 AM, and by this time it was near 4:00 PM. Mom went to work while I stayed behind to work out some more numbers with Don. Don and I then started to look at used cars, with AWD/RWD in mind. They had er… a Volvo S60 R for me to take a look at. What? Why would I want a Volvo? Aren’t they supposed to be like, soccer-mom cars with 400 air bags, golf bag fitted trunks, and all those old person luxuries? Maybe in the standard S60. Not in the 2004 S60 R. This baby has 300 bhp, 295 lb-ft torque, potent turbocharger, 12.9″ ventilated disk brakes (yeah, that’s about the size of my bmw tires), six speed close-ratio gearbox, Ohlins Racing shocks, aggressive suspension settings, AWD, and so much more. Oh yes, I got to test drive this baby… I’m actually speechless right now. When the dealer turned the car on, it had a hearty “RRR” sound, with the deep rasp of a momma panther protecting her cubs. I got goose pimples going around the freshly paved round-a-bout at UCSB, then nailing the 300 horses to the ground via four tortured tires. I have no complaints about the handling, but if it does lack, the corner exit acceleration greatly makes up for any lack. The only downside is that is slightly heavy, weighing in at around 3,600 lbs. But what can you expect for a Volvo sedan with 400 airbags?

It became obvious to exclude the Civic EX and Rabbit when I drove home in my newly fixed BMW. The BMW is fun to drive, and it actually puts a smile on my face when I drive it sideways around corners. It’s hard to actually downgrade in terms of fun from a rusty ‘81 jewel to a brand new car. The new cars just didn’t seem to have any life–as if they were just pressed from a mold (albeit a FME/FWD mold).

I’ve decided that it is the defining factor of FME/FWD cars–boring and lifeless. That’s why I will not suffer anything but RWD/AWD. Yay me.

The Volvo, being the clear winner, still made me leave the dealership without it. The price is slightly higher than what I was originally in the market with. But I daresay I am done. I am going to find the lowest price any dealership in California is offering for that car, then I will have them match that price. The battle is far from over.

Socorro must hate me or something

Published
by
David Lee
on October 18, 2007
in Domestic
. 1 Comment

Socorro (or Esmeralda, Maria, Priscilla, Esperanza… whatever her name may be) the Cleaning Lady, seems to be intentionally annoying me. Every week, she will make my bed but put the down pillow on the left side. I always sleep with it on the right side. Without fail, the down pillow will be on the left side of the bed, so I have to swap them in order to sleep properly. I thought one of the possible reasons for this was a pattern: take the pillows off the bed and changes their case, put them back on the bed, put the pillows back in the reverse way they came off. I tried throwing her off by swapping the pillow order to make the pattern irregular, but it didn’t work. It is annoying, but I think I can still live.

Homelessness, Pedro, Shania Twain, fat kid, and Dr. Eskandari-Qajar

Published
by
David Lee
on October 15, 2007
in Uncategorized
. 6 Comments

Okay… so I started this day with a cold. I didn’t get to walk the dogs because my head hurt, so, Linus and Rigby: if you are reading this, I’m sorry. I felt better after a shower, so I decided to head to school–albeit a few minutes late. But nobody cares; it’s Computer Science. I got in my car and turned right out of Canon Dr. (I never knew this was the name of that road until now) to Los Positas. Into the intersection on State St., my car stalled. This happened whilst I was releasing the clutch in first gear, so I assumed my left foot was a little too frisky. I was almost in the middle of the intersection, so there was a need to be urgent in getting the car to a running state. This didn’t really happen. I turned the key in the ignition, it turned over but didn’t fire–a clear sign that the electrical (less spark) is in good condition. Quickly, I decided to stick the car in neutral and push the car back to a parking spot on Canon Dr.. A friendly man at the SB Car and Audio shop saw me struggling with the steering, so he decided to help me push. He was wearing a helmet. I thought to myself: this guy is cool. I called mom, she picked me up, we went to Kragen to get some oil (the remedy used for the previous issue with the same general symptoms), went back to the car. No luck. I called Triple-A. And then we enter part two of this saga.

It took a very long time for the tow truck to come. I already missed the first class by now, and my second class would soon pass if I didn’t get going soon. I got very bored sitting in my car. I had a chat with the parking lot security guard at First Bank. She was somewhat understanding, though I think that was partly due to her lack of intelligence. I went back to sitting in my car. Hmm… not much going on here. I started thinking about random things, like: if I was homeless and could only travel thirty feet from the car in any direction, where would I live? I thought of the alley. Nope. Creepy people live in alleys. I would be a non-creepy homeless guy. Then I noticed a pine tree that had a thick layer of pine needles underneath. Perfect for a bed. There was some undergrowth to provide protection from predators as well as noise from the traffic. That’s where I would live if I could only use a thirty foot radius for available living quarters. I even took a picture of it with my marvelous camera phone.

I continued sitting in my car. I saw a GT3 pass by, but that just made me feel embarrassed. Embarrassed because the driver of the Porsche was sitting behind the wheel of an automobile that does more than just work. And I am sitting behind the wheel of a broken car with rust spots on the hood. How embarrassing!

The tow-truck finally arrived, minutes before I lapsed into semi-permanent insanity. When the driver stepped out, he looked exactly like Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. I thought: this guy is cool. That thought quickly vanished as I hopped into the cab and he turned on the radio to the station that played “You’re Still the One” by Shania Twain (I didn’t know who that song was by, I had to google it. Never you mind). And he left it on that station until we arrived at the autoshop in Goleta. Miller, the auto technician, ran a few tests to determine that the spark was normal and all the tubings were connected, etc., but determined that the problem existed in the fuel pump. That meant that I had to steal the car from mom. Luckily, her office is just a few block away from the autoshop, so I ran over there and waited for her to arrive. Driving to school in the minivan, I felt a little embarrassed. This time I was actually behind the wheel of an automobile that works. But it is a minivan. Oh well.

I managed to arrive at school with about five minutes remaining in my second class (Music Appreciation), so I decided to head over to my third class (Political Thinking). I met some people outside the class, so we talked a bit about the reading. It was the highlight of the day. So far. Class started as usual, and all went well (albeit slightly chilly inside the class room) until the largest fat kid arrived late. He is usually late and always walks about one third the speed of an average man his age. Already disrupting the fascinating lecture, he sat down in the front row, breaking the chair that he sat upon. Instantaneously, a few nuts and bolts flew a few feet away adding an additional sound effect. Dr. Eskandari, the professor, immediately yelled at him and another later girl for disrupting the lecture. The fat kid got up and sat down carefully on another chair, though I still feel the pain of the chair. There was an eerie and awkward silence from the audience for about a minute, while people were biting their tounges trying not to laugh. The moderately cute girl who sits next to me (and also has a Tool shirt) let out a faint sound of a muffled laugh, so I glared at her until she shrugged while mouthing “wha happen?”. This was the new high point of my day.

The lecture continued, but somehow we managed to get talking about the myth that claims that Aldous Huxley died (on LSD) in Isla Vista. Somehow this quote came out of Dr. Eskandari’s mouth: “you need to read Aldous Huxley on LSD”. Okay, so we either need to read a book called “Aldous Huxley on LSD”, or read books by Aldous Huxley, on LSD. That class is great.

Anyway, my car is still in the shop and I still have a cold. w00t.

My morality lies In Rainbows

Published
by
David Lee
on October 12, 2007
in Somewhat Political
. 0 Comments

In case you haven’t heard about the Radiohead Ten Day Plan, the popular English band, Radiohead, decided to keep quiet about any news about upcoming works. On October 1, they announced plans to release a full album, called In Rainbows, ten days later–but unlike any mass album release ever before. Instead of charging a standard price for a cd, artwork, record label costs, etc., they chose to release the album digitally in a DRM (see: evil, nefarious) free mp3 collection for a price of… whatever you want to pay. Yes, you can download the album for free. Or you could pay £5.00 or £100. Really.

It’s a brilliant business model. I paid £5.00, which is about the price you would pay for the album in a store. Though, the large majority of this money is actually going to Radiohead instead of corporate record labels and anyone else involved in the marketing/sales of a standard album. They cause the demand that record labels do by doing the surprise release in ten days, which eliminates the need for the marketing sector of a record label. Then, they pull on people’s moral strings a bit by offering the free option while also offering an array of other prices. This almost entirely cuts out the need to resort to piracy. Unless you are a hardcore pirate.

That being said, I probably wouldn’t have purchased this album in a store. Mostly because I am lazy. Partly because I don’t like supporting corporate record labels (namely Sony BMG). But when given the option of the price, my moral obligation kicked in–I had to. I have no regrets. And I am glad I did my part in supporting an efficient and different business model.

There you go. I feel glad about myself for making a moral decision.

Three Entertaining Events In One Week

Published
by
David Lee
on October 7, 2007
in Uncategorized
. 2 Comments

I feel a little concert fever going on here. I was invited to see Modest Mouse on September 14 with Andy, so I couldn’t pass that one up. Modest Mouse always puts on a great live show–the lead singer is very enthusiastic, but not creepy-enthusiastic.

The real run started last week Sunday when I went to see George Carlin with my Asian friend Kevin Tran. He is old. Old, but still amusing with his antics relating to children and their role as government puppets. He hates kids. I love him. His guest was Vance Gilbert, an amusing and talented guitar player who was thrown a rose from the audience and threw it back.

Two days later I went to see They Might Be Giants in Ventura. Little did I know, my high school AP Economics teacher, Mr. DeVries, was there with a few of his friends. Again, I went with my Asian friend Kevin Tran, who also happened to be in the same economics class with me. It was cool to see TMBG play the songs that we heard in DeVries’s class, such as “James K. Polk” and “Mammals”. There were only three in the audience that “raised their paw” during “Mammals”. In a sense, it was a very educational concert–I learned about the four chambered heart, the composition of the Sun, Napoleon of the Stump (Young Hickory), Turkish cities, Belgian painters, The ‘64 World Fair, and particles… The encore was interesting as well; they said they would play 24 songs. They really did play 24 songs. It was amazing.

Just last night I saw The Shins. This was my most anticipated concert. Apparently Tyler Anderson and his girlfriend were in the pit just a few feet away from where I was, though I did not manage to see them. Anyway, the lead singer looks a lot like Kevin Spacey.

Back to er… real life.

Jackie’s GOOG 101

Published
by
David Lee
on October 3, 2007
in Humor
. 6 Comments

I finally received my “Google Tips and Tricks Assignment” from my computer science class today. Boy, she really does love Google. Be sure to note all of the spelling and punctuation errors–in addition to the general n00bishness (”!!!!”). She (Jackie) also lacks consistency, which can be seen in the erratic use of the bold. Does bold text denote a topic sentence, search query, nothing at all, or indicated action? (see questions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 respectively). Let’s take a closer look at each question.

1. Yes, we all know Google likes keeping information about us in their database.
2. ”1 EURO (ideally EUR) in USD” is not the example that I would have chosen for the calculator demonstration. A better example would be: “5*3″ or some general arithmetic.
3. The bold text bothers me. It’s always useful to know what 1 US Quart is equivalent to in US Fluid Ounces in a computer science class…
4. Again, the bold text bothers me. ”vaporware”. Well this is good; at least we are taking a step toward software.
5. Apart from the lack of bold text, ”switched”. ”Switched” is a term that someone in kindergarten (or equivalent brain ability) would use–and it’s not even correct! Then notice the period after ”maps.google.com”. If you thought it couldn’t get any worse for a college professor, she uses the word ”pan” incorrectly as well. ”Pan” is used to describe the rotation of a camera long the vertical axis. The proper word to use would be “zoom”, or some synonym of “zoom”.
6. I don’t ”switch” back to anything when I type something into the address bar. And why is “Select images” in bold text? ”Barak Obama” is misspelled. And why is this question relevant?

Oh, and another thing: it’s out of 15 points, right? Notice how many questions there are and observe the grading rubric.

I am sleppy

Published
by
David Lee
on September 28, 2007
in Domestic
. 0 Comments

This is the second time in two days I have had with hives. I don’t know what has caused them, but an unknown allergen is somehow finding a way to make me uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure benadryl helps keep the hiving (no, not hyphying) down, but it makes me really sleepy. And I sleep.

Honorable Passion Juice

Published
by
David Lee
on September 22, 2007
in Humor
. 0 Comments

Yesterday, Dad went to China town in Los Angeles and brought back a bottle of passion juice. It reads:

“The sap is condensed from fresh and pure passion fruit.As passion fruit is rich in fragrance which is the best beverage refined from pure sugar and guaranteed on artificial pigment.

Drinking method is as follows: please pour six times of ice water or hot boiled water and its flavor is excellent.

The juice is pure.Any sign of separation does not affect the quality.Just shake and drink.

Ingredients:Pure passion juice,sugar.

HONORABLY PRODUCED BY YUN CHENG Co.,LTD.”

Wow. The writer managed to spell everything correctly, but what he makes up in spelling he loses doubly in grammar. It is important to note that this product was “HONORABLY PRODUCED”