lastlee

It all started a few days ago…

I woke up in my bed to the smell of pancakes–no, wait…  just syrup.  It smells delicious; I’m going check it out I thought.  Wait, it’s a weekday and dad is at work–and he never makes breakfast on these days.  Ah yes! There must be some left over food fermenting in my room producing a sweet smelling alcohol.

Looking in every corner, smelling in every cranny, I could not find the source of the smell.  Though, fermenting food  is still not out of the question.  I decided to not worry about it and continue my day, albeit confounded by thoughts of the mysterious source.  It happen up until just now.  As I was (slowly) taking my shirt off, I caught a potent whiff of this syrup smell.  Ah, so I must have rubbed against some syrup some time ago–that’s the reason why I’ve been smelling syrup all this time.  After close inspection, it was concluded that syrup was not the source due to the lack of stickiness and one interesting clue.  Both armpit areas of the shirt smelled strongly of syrup–and only the armpit areas.  I quickly cupped my left hand in my right armpit and took a whiff of the most delicious body odor of all time.

Yes, my armpits pleasantly smell of syrup.  Maple syrup specifically, not the supermarket kind, the real stuff.  I have come up with a list for possible factors that cause this miracle:

• Wednesday night dinner: ate many interesting foods.  The likely candidate was a combination of Indian potatoes with salmon eggs
• My hair is longer than it has ever been–perhaps some fermentation has occurred  on my scalp and was transferred into my bloodstream and to my armpits
• I have recently started practicing my guitar lately–perhaps the strings were contaminated with some Metal oxide that, when rubbed on the fingers enters the bloodstream and acts as a catalyst for organic acids to produce esters (really, really nice smelling compounds)
• Stress of writing paper?  Nah, I don’t get stressed when writing papers.  I haven’t even started and I feel great.
• My computer at work has been up for over a year now–perhaps the EM forces pulsing from under my desk went radioactive and mutated my genes.  In addition to the wonderful B.O., this could explain my lack of stress.
• My sunglasses have been without a case since I was in San Diego–perhaps some residue has formed on the tip of the ear piece that transferred sweet smelling compounds into my bloodstream via the skin behind my ear.
• I have been using the same towel for over a week now–perhaps the festering mold has triggered an unusual reaction in my skin to over produce pheromones (I question these so-called pheromones).
• A dead and dried carnation was flung at me when the soda bottle it was resting in fell off the monitor behind me (true story)–perhaps the aged pollen was deposited on my upper arm and was blown into the hot damp of my armpit.  It could have festered and made habitat for bacteria that produce an overwhelming amount of sucrose.

That’s all I can figure for possible causes.  Hmm.

This is the second time in two days I have had with hives. I don’t know what has caused them, but an unknown allergen is somehow finding a way to make me uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure benadryl helps keep the hiving (no, not hyphying) down, but it makes me really sleepy. And I sleep.